Somebody's Muse

Lewis Morely photographed this amazing shot of Christine Keeler. She was not a model and she did not want to be naked. This photograph was a "compromise" between the Contract Wielders and The Subject.

In testament to this photograph, I can still stare at it for ages without losing interest. I have seen it a thousand times and still it holds me. The lighting and the subtle emotion on Keeler's face just facinate me. I do not see compromise when I see this...I see that it was composed meticulously by a man who really knew what he was doing with a camera and knew how to work his Subject. He commanded both her and the room whilst he went about creating Art, banishing everyone from the Studio and bringing her to life through a lens.

I have always wanted to Parody this shot with myself as the focus.

I know, I know, it's so incredibly self-indulgent; but, duh, this is my Blog...of course it's self indulgent. And David blinking Frost and Dame Edna bloody Everage got to do it!

Anyway, I have said it now, so there.

I was captivated for a long time by a picture I had on my wall of Sandra Bernhard painted in Gold and laid bare. It was erotic, yes...but more than that, it was unusual and incredibly beautiful (although most people may hesitate to use those words about Ms Bernhard). Someone had put a huge amount of thought into how precisely they would photograph her. She was at a strange angle and it was the contours of her stomach that drew the viewers' eye.*

And guess what? I want[ed] to recreate that one with myself as the focus also.

These photographs make me want so much to be somebody's muse.

My "obsession" with this started with Salvador Dali. I have been a Salvador Dali Bore for much of my life. I click my tongue LOUDLY at anyone who dares to voice that Surrealism has been "over-done". Dali's less acclaimed art work is of his Wife Gala, and is equally as enchanting as his more famous work (which also features her in various guise).

If only Himself could paint. Hmmmn.

Gia. One of Angelina Jolie's lesser revered films, granted. But a friend lent me the Video (yep, it's pretty old too) a long while ago and just said: "Oh my God, watch this, it's just SO you". This could have been taken in two ways. I chose to overlook the drug taking pain in the arse that Gia turns into and concentrated on the fact that she looks a bit like me and had a mighty fine kick arse attitude to start off with). I was drawn to The Photoshoot. Anyone who has seen this film knows what I mean by The Photoshoot. It's the one where, at the end of the shoot, Jolie's character strips naked (with another model whom she ends up having a lesbian relationship with - but again, overlook this for the moment folks...) and is photographed against a (handily well lit) wire fence. Classic.

How come I never get to do the fun stuff like that?!

Don't get me wrong, I've been approached to do Porn...."no thank you, but thanks so much for asking, now please fuck off". This is not what I am after.

...and I have been photographed in a portrait kind of a way many, many times...but it's just not quite ticking the boxes.

I am after one of those photoshoots where I am directed precisely by a Master Craftsman who thinks I am incredibly interesting/striking/annoying (any which way) to get an amazing (naked or otherwise) photograph that is so beautiful, even I will look at it and love it. The type of picture that my family could look at without cringing, but that Himself would look at and say [in soft Welsh accent]"Fuck me, my other half is bloody gorgeous".

Ah well, yet another thing to add to the list of "do before I die" I suppose.

MENTAL NOTE TO SELF: Must try to hang out near more wire fences and sit back to front on chairs more often in order to inspire prospective passing artists.



* I am now doubting that this photo ever existed but for in my very strange mind, as I can find no trace of it nor reference to it anywhere in the internet, so if I made it up, then I must tell you: it was very cool.