Chew...my balls have dropped

My Mama spent many years in which her mantra at dinnertime was "chew.chew". She was not doing "choo choos" to get me to eat brussels, but trying desperately to stop me inhaling my food at such break neck speed.

Thing is, for all of her efforts, I really haven't got the hang of it. In fact I seem to have applied my food related behaviour to the rest of my life. I am one of life's "great starters". But I am soon onto the Next Thing, then The Next Thing After That. Other Thing is, I am at a stage in my life where projects must be finished. There's no Mrs Chapman, Third Year Geography to answer to when homework isn't done, but a lot scarier: me with the prospect of no/poor income. With this in mind, picture the scene when I was houseworking away this morning merrily to myself with the daytime slit-wrist drivel on the Television, when on came a segment about Post Natal Depression.

It turns out that, by the description that (hypochondriac tendencies coming on here), I have had Post Natal depression* since the birth of my first son eight and a half years ago. I have summised this from the main symptom that anyone of the poor women on the show could describe in any detail was feeling overwhelmed. Thing is, far from belittling PND as you may think I am, I truly believe that PND would explain some parts of my life until this point**. I still feel very overwhelmed to this day, but that's due to the food inhaling analogy thingy, I think.

I run a house full of boys. Himself [with Hons after his name] has not mastered the art of hanging damp towels on a rail...no no, he likes to file them under F for Floor. C has a problem with his teacher [in that she can be a bit of a cow and he can be a bit of a Victor Meldrew with Russell Crowe's temper],L has yet to learn to do his laces; L Junior has yet to learn to wipe his own bottom, J is only just off the breast and frankly pissed off about the whole new arrangement, you can see where I am going here. I "run" everyone. Factor in the Company Prep I am doing; trying to find the appropriate equipment for a documentary due to start shooting soon; our first magazine photoshoot tomorrow and I am a busy lady. Overwhelmed is just part of the package.

So, just for "fun", I thought I would list some of the things I have done "wrong" recently...the Balls Which I Have Dropped if you will:

• J has four teeth now. I have not brushed them in a day and a half. If they all fall out or go black it WILL be my fault
• I had to drop the children into school today without lunch, go and do a "food" shop and then drop the lunches in mid-morning as this morning, the cupboard was bare. In England I would have done a Midnight Shop at ASDA/Tesco... but I no longer have that luxury. Damn.

N.B In Reference to the above, I had to endure the withering looks of the school staff as I signed in then out whilst dropping said lunches in.

• I forgot to buy stuff to decorate L Junior's Easter Bunny Ears for Kindy (we will do a rush job this weekend, don't call Social Services just yet)
  
• I haven't checked my company email in three days
• All of the wooden floors in the house need a damn good scrub
  
• I wrote a list of 35 chores that needed to be done this morning around the house. I did 5.
• I haven't been to bed at the same time as Himself for around a week. Read into this the Ball I Have Dropped as you will.
• I have much UK bound correspondence sitting on my desk as I type which was due to be sent a week ago.
• I have not cleaned the Fun Bus out in a week.
• I have not sat with C to write to his friend in the UK
• I have not eaten Breakfast in a week
• I have a pile of laundry glaring at me.
  
• I have not registered My Lexmark Printer and it keeps reminding me WEEK after WEEK.
• I have not finished the design of the last couple of pages for TRPC, so the index is "up" and still does not work as the navigation needs doing...not V professional!
• I have sent only some of the new pages over to JJ to be proof read and forgot to send the illustrations altogether
• I must wash my hair...where do other people find the time for this mundane shit?!!
  

I am bored now. I must think of better fodder for my blog.

* no really I probably have. But it would affect my Visa Status to admit this openly I am sure. Therefore I request your silence on this matter.

** or maybe I suffer from over-tiredness. Brought on by being really quite busy. Maybe.

Sydney Harbour Bridge Tragedy

I cannot begin to comment on the world; certainly not to comment on any other latest headlines without talking about The Sydney Harbour Bridge Tragedy (as it has been [appropriately] dubbed by the Australian Media).

The human interest side of this story is being embraced by the public and pushed by the media as there is still a young girl missing, presumed dead. The Australian Press in my mind have been brilliant. The coverage has been respectful and names were not released for some time even though they were available (so that friends and family could be informed in advance). The only thing I could think of that would make the British Press behave in such a way would be the threat of legal proceedings if the names were announced.

For those readers of this blog who are not privvy to the coverage of this horrible accident; a brief [who am I kidding] re-cap of the incident is as follows:

At 10.45pm on 27th March (three days ago), a HarbourCat Ferry was returning to dock for the night carrying no passengers, when it collided with and destroyed a much smaller vessel - a 10m pleasure cruiser "Merinda" carrying approx 35 friends back from a conference dinner, under The S H Bridge after some sightseeing.

Three of the passengers have lost their lives and one woman has severe injuries, including loss of one of her legs. The friends and family aboard the domestic cruiser all moved in the circles of Championship Iceskating and the young girl missing is described as a rising iceskating star. I am not using their names as I tell you this, as I feel it is not my place. I did not know them and I am uncomfortable with pretending that I did, but I am so incredibly moved by their terrible accident.

One of the reasons that this has shocked me to the core is because there is speculation as to whether or not the smaller boat had it's lights on. The crash happened directly under the bridge so to not be illuminated seems odd; but moreso I am distress that I have pondered the very question "what happens if..." . Here I find myself with a harrowing answer to my brains perverse quest for knowledge. THIS is what happens if a boat is not seen by a Ferry and is ploughed into. Loss of life and terror on the faces of all who witness it.

One of the passengers that survived this ordeal was aboard the smaller cruiser with his mother at the time of the crash. He dived into the water and stayed with her until rescuers arrived. She is the lady mentioned before that has lost part of her leg. When I saw his face upon his own rescue, I wanted to cry. This young man looked like a small boy. A boy who had just had the experience of saving his mother's life.

It has been reported that at least eight people were taken to hospital, one child was among them and the pictures of his rescue would turn anyone with children's blood cold. A woman in her eighties recieved injuries to her face as she pulled herself to the surface of the water through the shards of the boat. In her Eighties! I am stunned.

Bad things happen, I know that. But this has touched me and pulled at my heart, so I thought I should share. Particularly as I am sure the UK media have omitted it in place of Cats Up Trees and Blair Paint His Front Door Pink or some such.

So, It's not so bad to be me. To be in my safe warm house, passing comment as usual. I really hope you take from this the same sentiment.

Shane MacGowan - thing is, regretably, I would have...

With it being St Paddy's Day and everyone around being pretentious and awful, claiming all sorts of affiliations with the Irish folk, so that they can get off their faces on substandard exported Guinness and the like, and grown men dressed up in gowns handing out Jelly Snakes (which I actually find preferable as at least it adheres to the myth that is the foundation of Paddy's Day)...my thoughts have turned to all things Irish.

Well, not quite ALL things Irish, but some.

There have been a few wonderful, wonderful Irish people in my life: My cousins Catherine, Steven and Phillip and my lovely Heather and Leo who have been present for the majority of the happiest childhood a girl could wish for. On the flip side there has been notably only one really horrid Irish person who shall live on forever as a blip - a mistake if you will, in the history of said Fair Isle; myself for one hoping that she is thrust into a life of damnation and hell, never to sleep another night's sleep; never to taste another well cooked meal (in fact raw, rotting chicken would be too good for her); never to feel the sun on her back (well, that one's a given - she lives in Ireland); never to hear again the chords of a wonderful song (particularly not by Irish Legend Paddy Casey - he is just too good to be wasted on a rancid maggot such as herself)....you get the picture, I have a small amount of residual anger over one Irish encounter of my past - which frankly is not bad and tells me that [broad generalisation] Irish peeps are not to be sniffed at.

Forefront of my thoughts is Mr Shane MacGowan. Sings in an Irish tone, tends to speak rather more like the English (whom he hates, bless him, for no other reason that he can, because he's Irish and the Irish are ALLOWED)...he once said that England was a cold, damp miserable place (or something similar - I may have slightly misquoted there), but the point is that I can see where he is coming from; as we all know: Ireland is being hailed as an honorary Caribbean Island for it's climate and bright outlook...hmmn.

Like Him though. I really do. Don't really know why. I have had appalling taste in men in the past but most choice have been "explainable" if not "understandable". But a few years ago, if Shane MacGowan would have walked into my Local, I DEFINITELY WOULD (have). Black teeth, rotten alcoholic breath and all, I would have feasted on him like a great white on a baby seal (had him for breakfast if you will). I would have smiled and flirted and made innuendos like a whore in the "Biggest Whore In The World" competition. To this day, I am not sure why. I am also not sure why I feel the need to admit such an ugly truth about myself in the public domain...but that's just me.

I do feel that this blog requires illustration with the physical appearance of it's subject so important to understand the What the ****? factor.

Sadly, I still think he looks oddly yummy here. Oh dear. Save me from myself! More importantly, I must display another pic where he looks less disarmingly Sexy.(or is that STILL just me?!). If you look closely at this picture you can see the blackened teeth, but still I err toward that being part of the very rock and roll thing, the punk-esque "don't give a ..." thing.

OK, if this doesn't cure me nothing will:


Shane with his good Mate, Mr Depp. Depp has cheekbones, youthfulness and "mystery" in this picture and looks as though he may have showered in the last decade. Shane has a drunken Leer that says "Johnny is Currently Holding Me Up". I'm sold. Finally. I had to dangle Johnny Depp in front on my nose to do it, but I have cured myself of Shane MacGowan. Phew.

Happy St Patrick's Day though Shane. Once upon a time, I would have, I definitely would.