Stay at Home Mum

So, a little background.

I have four children. The youngest (J) is four months and the eldest (C) is seven years; inbetween are L and L Junior who are six years and three years respectively. Himself goes off to work at around 5 am and returns around 7.30pm to keep us in the comfortable lifestyle we have become accustomed to and he works his balls off, let me tell you.

My role is the varied one of housekeeper (not so strong at this to be fair); entertainer; taxi driver; stylist; hairdresser; laundery lady; ironer; bill payer; wound/ills healer; entrepeneur (running an e-commerce company - more on this at a later date); impromptu Thesaurus / Dictionary; music teacher; peace keeper; television programme censor; world affairs educator and chef/nutritionist i.e. I'm a mum who is lucky enough to work from home.

What I have failed to mention is that we are also eighteen months into the Emigrating process (to Australia); this means that my further duties include being the family solicitor and immigration/relocation agent which involves staying up to date with the DIMIA rule changes, requirements and Visa charges amongst other things.

I am not complaining.

Far from it - I consider myself very fortunate to live as I do and I acknowledge that there are numerous perks to my position for example:

• not having to wear a suit or uniform/full make up on a daily basis;
  
• not having to sit next to other people (whom may or may not have terrible body odour) at my laptop;
  
• not having an unexplainable crush on my boss who flirts outrageously but is strangely unattractive;
  
• also the option to wear my hair whichever way I choose (most notable for two years when I had beautiful cyclamen coloured dreadlocks and was the envy of many a frustrated hippy working the nine to five)
  
• not having to smile through bile inducing office bitching;
  

• more importantly: four pairs of little arms to hug me at any given time of the day; oh,how I would miss that if I were stuck in an office with only a photo of my babies to get me through the day.
  

I also debate the saying that it is a thankless job to be a mum. My little fellas thank me and reward me every single day for doing what I do...

...so...only one real drawback (not including that fact that some days it would be nice to have to put on full make up and a suit without fear of being sicked on if I did!). Other people. More specifically other childless people who seem to think I have opted out by being at the beck and call of my offspring 24 hours a day. Yeah...it's a real easy option. NOT.

I have had total strangers look at me pityingly and ask when I plan to go "back" to work. I have lost count of the times that I have said "well, actually I work from home" - seriously, why the fuck should I explain myself? I'm not a "stick em infront of the TV whilst I drink incessant cups of coffee" type of mum, I work damn hard from Morning to night, making my babies' lives lively, educational and fun and for now whilst baby is still breastfeeding, I work right through the night too. It astounds me that because my primary career doesn't command a wage, it is judged so poorly.

At the risk of this becoming a full on rant, I must say that the assumptions made by other people is not confined to strangers; I had the pleasure of visiting a close friend for a weekend with only L Junior in tow last year, whilst I was pregnant with J. We had a lovely time doing all of the things that are really tough with three (and now four) children with me - taking the bus across London, kicking a ball around the park, flying a kite, feeding the animals, stopping for snacks on the way and then making cakes when we got home. My [still very close] friend remarked that she would bake cakes every single day when she has children.

"If only I had time" I said.

Her reply? "How do you not have time? What on earth do you do all day?"

...it was time to smile smugly and pull out the patronising tone: "you'll see" I answered.